Love & Other Drugs
by ChelseyChelseyx
Summary: AU. House has a vicodin addiction - but when Lisa Cuddy comes back in his life after nearly 20 years he finds out that it's not only drugs that are addictive.


Chapter One - The Interview

"Gregory House?"

"Yes mistress"

"Is that usually how you'd speak to someone during an interview?" Lisa Cuddy wasn't really sure why she was even asking that question when she already knew what the answer would be. The behaviour of the man in front of her was something that she could have predicted from the moment that she saw his name on the resume, which, if she was being honest, begged the question as to why she had even invited him along to interview.

"Well technically we're still standing in the corridor as against your office so the interview hasn't really started yet..."

"Technically, the interview starts from the moment you're with me because that's the point I start analysing your behaviour and trying to decide if I want you to work for me."

"Of course you want me to work for you, who wouldn't?" House, like Cuddy, knew the answer to his question even before he'd asked it. He'd been out of work for nearly three months despite about 40 interviews all over the country, even though he had been the most qualified candidate by miles for every job that he'd applied for. The problem was that the answer to the question was no one wanted him to work for them, something that was hardly surprising when his ability to follow instructions, rules... well the law for that matter, was somewhat limited.

"From what I've heard everyone but me... Isn't this pretty much the only hospital left in the entire of America that you haven't yet been rejected from?"

"But from the fact you just said everyone but you that suggests that you would hire me... So why don't you just do that now and save us both the boring formality of interviewing where I'd mock you, stare at your breasts, and give you say... fifty good reasons why you shouldn't hire me... and then you hire me anyway."

"What makes you think...?"

"The guy you interviewed before me is an immunologist, the woman you're interviewing after me is a cleaner. Neither of them are likely candidates to head a department of diagnostic medicine."

"The immunologist..."

"Is an idiot." House smirked confidently at her knowing that he was right. Cuddy wasn't going to interview anyone else for the position because she'd already decided that he was going to have it. The interview was purely a formality so she could cross the t's and dot the i's for the board.

"Fine, I want you to have the job."

"Great, so I can go?" House started to turn around to leave wondering if this meant he'd be able to catch the end of Judge Judy.

"No, you can't. You still have to interview."

"But Muuuuuuum." House turned around to face the cleaner that Cuddy was going to be interviewing after she was done with him. "Sorry you might have to wait a bit for your turn, turns out to get hired her you have to service the dean of medicine first. Talking of which you might want to go home and shave your legs quickly - you're up next."

"In. Now!" Cuddy would have quite liked to physically drag him into the room but she didn't think she could deal with the sexual innuendo's that would ensue if she did. Not to mention the fact that she didn't want to make any physical contact with him just incase the cleaner she was supposed to be interviewing after House believed him and made a run for it before she was sexually harrassed by her soon to be boss. Luckily for Cuddy, House decided not to humiliate her any further and followed her into the office.

"Wow... I can't believe how much your ass has grown since the last time we..." House trailed off as he turned around and winked at the woman that was sitting waiting in the chair next to the one that House had been sitting in, looking increasingly nervous about the prospect of being interviewed by Dr Lisa Cuddy.

Cuddy sighed and shut the door behind him; okay so he hadn't quite finished humiliating her. She tried to remind herself why she was putting herself through this, but couldn't think of a single reason that was anywhere near good enough.

House sat himself down into the chair opposite her desk and swung himself around using his cane. "So... Interview time?"


End file.
